Allene's Insights

Thoughts and Ponderings from America's First Lady of Broadcast Psychic Counseling, Allene Cunningham

April 2006

POUTING

Pouting is not a solution to solving problems. In the counseling I do I have seen many wives say they are unable to talk to their husbands since they will not talk, but pout. Of course, this is a control method. In order to appease him and to stop his pouting spell, a wife will walk on eggshells to create an atmosphere that seems halfway normal.

A pouter always feels sorry for himself and feels he's been badly treated in some way. So he makes people around him miserable because in some way he feels like his misery will lessen if it is "shared." He is saying, "Poor little old me. Everybody does me in. Because I'm miserable everybody around me is going to suffer, too."

People around the pouter will ask the pouter, "Is something wrong?" To which the pouter's usual reply is, "Nothing's wrong." Clearly indicating with tone and body language that this is not the case. These non-verbal signals cause the people around the pouter to search their minds for something they've done or said to upset him (or her). They often identify some little nitpicking thing they think might have upset him and try to apologize; but no amount of "I'm sorry" will ever appease him. Pouters are so miserable they try to ease their misery by making others share that emotional state. It doesn't work! Pouting is self-defeating. It never solves problem - it only compounds them. If you're a pouter you will not make yourself happier by making those around you depressed and miserable. In your attempt at possessive control, as well as passive aggressive control, you will not solve problems, you will not achieve happiness. You cannot resolve the hurts others have caused you by causing pain in others. The first step in changing your life of misery is recognizing that this is what you are achieving by pouting.

Be open and honest with yourself about being a pouter and resolve to make a change. Pouting becomes a habit. Just like any other habit, it can be overcome. No one can change you except you. Decide you no longer want to "enjoy" the pain of pouting and the pain it causes for those around you. Every day face your problems instead of stirring things up in your mind. Communication is the answer. Do not add your emotion to the communication.

Practice facing small problems honestly, openly and courteously as they occur. Don't let them grow much larger in actuality - or in your mind. You deserve to be happy and so do your family, friends and coworkers. Replace this unhealthy habit with a life affirming and happy one.

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HAVING A HARD TIME? DON'T POUT... CONTACT ALLENE!

If you have questions about your life's direction schedule a private session to find the answers you have been seeking. A 30-minute session is usually $125, but for my newsletter subscribers, I am offering a special session for only $115. To reserve a time for your session, simply visit my web site at http://www.esphelp.com/order.html to request a time.

May you be greatly blessed this month. Enjoy all the beauty that unfolds with each passing day.

Allene Cunningham http://www.esphelp.com allene@esphelp.com P-C Productions Wichita, Kansas (316) 267-1039

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